The clock was ticking.

00:45:09

00:45:08

00:45:07

Felix Fumble stared at the countdown.

Then he looked at Dotty.

Then at Professor Something.

Then at Captain Sneeze.

Then he looked at the enormous creature floating inside the yellow cloud.

It had two giant eyes.

A gigantic nose.

And a mouth large enough to swallow the entire clock tower.

Felix pointed upward.

“That’s not a bird.”

Captain Sneeze looked offended.

“I told you.”

Felix looked at him.

“You’re a bird.”

“I’m not!”

“You have wings.”

“So do airplanes.”

“You’re covered in feathers.”

“That’s fashion.”

“You have a beak.”

Captain Sneeze crossed his wings.

“Nobody’s perfect.”

Dotty interrupted.

“Can everyone stop arguing about the bird?”

Captain Sneeze gasped.

“I am not a bird!”

Dotty pointed at him.

“Fine.”

She looked at the giant creature.

“Can we focus on that?”

Everyone looked up.

The creature sneezed.

ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The clock tower shook.

Felix fell backward.

Professor Something crashed into a wall.

Captain Sneeze flew into a lamp.

Dotty grabbed a table.

The giant creature rubbed its nose.

Felix stood.

“Okay.”

He dusted off his coat.

“New plan.”

Dotty looked at him.

“Do you actually have one?”

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

Felix pointed toward the giant creature.

“We ask it to stop.”

Dotty stared.

“That’s your plan?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

Felix thought.

“Politely.”

Dotty closed her eyes.

“Of course.”

---

Felix walked toward the window.

He opened it.

Then he shouted:

“HEY!”

The giant creature looked down.

Felix waved.

“YES, YOU!”

The creature blinked.

Felix shouted again.

“CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SNEEZING?”

The creature stared at him.

Then…

It sneezed.

ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Felix flew backward.

He landed in a pile of broken gears.

Dotty stared.

“That went well.”

Felix stood.

“I think it didn’t hear me.”

“Really?”

Felix nodded.

“I’ll try louder.”

Dotty grabbed his coat.

“No.”

Felix pointed.

“I’m a detective.”

“Yes.”

“I must communicate with suspects.”

“That’s not a suspect.”

“Everything is a suspect.”

“Felix.”

“What?”

“You’re talking to a giant nose.”

Felix looked upward.

“Exactly.”

---

Captain Sneeze flew toward the window.

“Wait!”

Felix pointed at him.

“Don’t come any closer.”

Captain Sneeze stopped.

“Why?”

“You look suspicious.”

“I am suspicious.”

Felix nodded.

“Good.”

Captain Sneeze sighed.

“Listen to me.”

“Okay.”

“The creature isn’t attacking us.”

Felix looked at the enormous creature.

“It’s sneezing.”

“Exactly.”

“Which is attacking us.”

“Not intentionally.”

Felix frowned.

“That’s what criminals say.”

Captain Sneeze flew closer.

“The creature is sick.”

Dotty looked surprised.

“Sick?”

“Very sick.”

“With what?”

Captain Sneeze pointed at the yellow cloud.

“Sneezium poisoning.”

Felix blinked.

“That’s not a real illness.”

Captain Sneeze looked annoyed.

“Everything is real in Giggleton.”

Felix considered this.

“Fair point.”

Dotty asked:

“How do we cure it?”

Captain Sneeze looked at the clock.

“We need the Golden Feather.”

Felix’s eyes widened.

“A golden feather?”

“Yes.”

“Where is it?”

Captain Sneeze looked away.

“That’s the problem.”

Felix narrowed his eyes.

“Where is it?”

Captain Sneeze sighed.

“I lost it.”

Silence.

Dotty stared.

“You lost the only thing that can save the town?”

Captain Sneeze nodded.

“Yes.”

Felix stared.

“Where?”

“I don’t know.”

Felix put his hands on his head.

“Of course.”

Dotty asked:

“When did you lose it?”

Captain Sneeze thought.

“Tuesday.”

“What time?”

“After lunch.”

“Where?”

“Somewhere.”

“Where exactly?”

“Somewhere else.”

Dotty stared.

Felix walked toward him.

“Captain.”

“Yes?”

“Are you stupid?”

Captain Sneeze looked offended.

“No.”

Felix waited.

Captain Sneeze thought.

“Maybe.”

Dotty sighed.

“Let’s start again.”

---

Felix opened his notebook.

“Question one.”

Captain Sneeze saluted.

“Ready.”

“Where did you last see the Golden Feather?”

“In the clock tower.”

Felix wrote it down.

“Good.”

“Question two.”

“Yes?”

“Who had it?”

Captain Sneeze pointed at Professor Something.

Everyone looked at him.

Professor Something froze.

“Me?”

Captain Sneeze nodded.

“You.”

Professor Something looked confused.

“I don’t remember.”

Felix stared.

“Of course you don’t.”

Dotty asked:

“Professor, what do you remember?”

Professor Something thought.

“Nothing.”

“Anything?”

“Nothing.”

“Your name?”

“Still don’t know.”

“Why are you called Professor Something?”

The professor smiled.

“Because I am something.”

Dotty stared.

“That’s not helpful.”

“Thank you.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

---

Suddenly…

The clock tower shook again.

ACHOOOOOOOOOO!

Felix crashed into the wall.

Dotty landed on the floor.

Captain Sneeze spun through the air.

Professor Something fell into a bucket.

The countdown changed.

00:38:21

Dotty stood.

“We’re running out of time.”

Felix nodded.

“We need to find the feather.”

Captain Sneeze flew toward the door.

“Follow me!”

Felix stopped.

“Where are we going?”

“The last place I saw it.”

“Where?”

Captain Sneeze smiled.

“The Museum of Completely Useless Things.”

Felix blinked.

“That sounds useless.”

“Exactly.”

---

The museum was located on the other side of town.

Unfortunately…

The town was now upside down.

Literally.

Gravity had completely stopped working.

People were floating.

Houses were sideways.

Cars were stuck in trees.

A cow was flying.

Felix stared.

“That’s unusual.”

Dotty looked at him.

“You say that about everything.”

Felix pointed toward the cow.

“That is unusual.”

The cow mooed.

Then sneezed.

ACHOO!

It flew into the sky.

Felix nodded.

“Very unusual.”

---

They reached the museum.

The sign above the entrance read:

MUSEUM OF COMPLETELY USELESS THINGS

Underneath:

ADMISSION: ONE POTATO

Felix checked his pockets.

“I don’t have a potato.”

Dotty pulled one from her bag.

Felix stared.

“Why do you have a potato?”

“You never know.”

Felix nodded.

“Good thinking.”

They entered.

The museum was enormous.

Every room was filled with useless objects.

A chair with no seat.

A clock that only worked on Thursdays.

A spoon that couldn’t hold soup.

A door that led nowhere.

A pair of shoes that walked by themselves.

Felix stared.

“Who collects this stuff?”

A voice answered:

“Me.”

An old woman appeared.

She wore a purple dress and carried a walking stick.

Felix approached.

“Who are you?”

“Madam Doodle.”

Dotty blinked.

“Your name is Doodle?”

The woman nodded.

“Yes.”

Dotty looked at Felix.

“That’s my name.”

Felix looked between them.

“Are you related?”

Madam Doodle shook her head.

“No.”

Dotty relaxed.

“Good.”

Felix asked:

“We’re looking for something.”

Madam Doodle smiled.

“Everyone is.”

“What?”

“Everyone is looking for something.”

“What are you looking for?”

“My glasses.”

Felix looked at her.

“They’re on your head.”

Madam Doodle touched her head.

“Oh.”

She smiled.

“Found them.”

Dotty whispered:

“This town is exhausting.”

---

Felix showed her a drawing of the Golden Feather.

“Have you seen this?”

Madam Doodle stared.

“Yes.”

Felix’s eyes widened.

“Where?”

“Yesterday.”

“Where?”

“Here.”

“When?”

“Yesterday.”

Felix sighed.

“Yes, but where?”

Madam Doodle pointed.

“That way.”

They followed her.

She pointed again.

“That way.”

They followed.

Then she pointed again.

“That way.”

Felix stopped.

“Are you sure?”

Madam Doodle nodded.

“Absolutely.”

Felix looked around.

They were standing in front of a giant display.

A sign read:

THE MOST USELESS OBJECT IN THE WORLD

Inside was a small golden feather.

Felix’s eyes widened.

“THERE!”

He ran toward it.

Dotty grabbed him.

“Wait!”

“What?”

“Read the sign.”

Felix looked.

DO NOT TOUCH.

Felix slowly lowered his hand.

“Why?”

“Because it says not to.”

Felix nodded.

“Good point.”

Then he grabbed the feather.

Dotty stared.

“Felix!”

“What?”

“You just touched it!”

Felix smiled.

“Yes.”

The entire museum began shaking.

Madam Doodle screamed.

“YOU’VE DONE IT NOW!”

Felix froze.

“What?”

The feather began glowing.

A golden light filled the room.

The display exploded.

BOOOOOOM!

Felix flew backward.

Dotty flew forward.

Madam Doodle flew sideways.

The feather floated into the air.

Then…

It began growing.

One meter.

Two meters.

Five meters.

Ten meters.

Felix stared.

“That’s not normal.”

Dotty shouted:

“Nothing here is normal!”

The feather continued growing.

Then it suddenly flew through the ceiling.

Felix ran outside.

The feather shot into the sky.

The giant creature saw it.

Its eyes widened.

It reached toward the feather.

But the yellow cloud suddenly became dark.

A powerful force pulled the feather away.

Captain Sneeze screamed:

“NO!”

The feather disappeared.

Felix stared.

“Where did it go?”

Captain Sneeze pointed toward the clock tower.

“Back there.”

Felix looked at the tower.

“Then let’s go.”

---

They ran.

The countdown was almost finished.

00:25:10

00:25:09

00:25:08

Felix shouted:

“We only have twenty-five minutes!”

Dotty shouted back:

“Then run faster!”

“I’m running!”

“You’re walking!”

Felix looked down.

He was walking.

“Oh.”

He started running.

---

They reached the clock tower.

The tower was shaking violently.

The gears were spinning.

The yellow cloud covered the sky.

Captain Sneeze flew toward the top.

Felix followed.

They climbed.

Floor one.

Floor two.

Floor three.

Suddenly…

A giant potato rolled down the stairs.

Felix jumped.

“WHAT IS THAT?”

Dotty screamed:

“A POTATO!”

Felix stared.

“Why is it so big?”

“Because gravity is broken!”

The potato hit Felix.

THUMP!

He flew backward.

Dotty grabbed him.

“Are you okay?”

Felix nodded.

“Yes.”

He looked at the potato.

“Very dangerous.”

Dotty rolled her eyes.

---

They reached the top.

The Golden Feather was floating above the Sneezium Generator.

Captain Sneeze flew toward it.

But a giant hand grabbed him.

Everyone froze.

The mysterious man in the purple suit appeared.

Felix pointed.

“You!”

The man smiled.

“Yes.”

“What’s your name?”

The man paused.

“Professor…”

He froze.

Felix groaned.

“Not again.”

Professor Something snapped his fingers.

“Professor Noodle!”

Felix stared.

“What?”

Professor Noodle smiled.

“That’s my name.”

Dotty looked at Professor Noodle.

“Wasn’t that the other guy’s name?”

Professor Noodle shrugged.

“Maybe.”

Felix rubbed his forehead.

“I can’t keep track of these people.”

Professor Noodle grabbed the feather.

Captain Sneeze attacked.

The two fought.

Felix watched.

“Should we help?”

Dotty nodded.

“Yes.”

Felix looked around.

“How?”

“Think.”

Felix thought.

For three seconds.

Then he smiled.

“I have an idea.”

Dotty looked nervous.

“That’s never good.”

Felix ran toward the machine.

He pulled a lever.

The machine screamed.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Everyone stopped.

Felix shouted:

“HEY!”

They looked at him.

Felix pointed toward the window.

“LOOK!”

Everyone turned.

Nothing was there.

Felix ran.

“HA!”

Dotty stared.

“Was that your plan?”

“Yes.”

“Why did you say look?”

“To distract them.”

“They’re looking at nothing.”

“Exactly.”

Dotty sighed.

Felix grabbed the Golden Feather.

“Got it!”

Suddenly…

The machine exploded.

BOOOOOOOM!

Felix flew into the air.

The feather flew away.

The countdown reached:

00:10:00

Everyone froze.

Captain Sneeze screamed:

“TEN MINUTES!”

Felix stood.

“That’s plenty of time.”

Dotty stared.

“For what?”

Felix looked at the giant creature.

“To stop the sneeze.”

“How?”

Felix looked at the Golden Feather.

Then the machine.

Then Captain Sneeze.

Then Professor Noodle.

Then Dotty.

“I have absolutely no idea.”

Dotty closed her eyes.

“Of course.”

---

The giant creature opened its mouth.

The entire sky became dark.

The yellow cloud began spinning.

The creature took a deep breath.

Felix looked terrified.

“What’s happening?”

Captain Sneeze whispered:

“It’s going to sneeze.”

“How big?”

Captain Sneeze looked at him.

“Very.”

“How very?”

“Extremely.”

“How extremely?”

Captain Sneeze pointed.

The creature’s nose began glowing.

Felix stared.

“That’s bad.”

Dotty nodded.

“Very.”

Felix looked at the Golden Feather.

Suddenly…

He understood.

“Wait.”

Dotty looked at him.

“What?”

“The feather.”

“What about it?”

“The creature needs it.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s the only thing that can stop the Sneezium.”

Captain Sneeze shook his head.

“No.”

Felix stared.

“What?”

“The Golden Feather doesn’t stop the Sneezium.”

“Then what does it do?”

Captain Sneeze looked terrified.

“It makes the creature sneeze.”

Felix froze.

“What?”

Captain Sneeze shouted:

“THE FEATHER IS WHAT CAUSED EVERYTHING!”

Silence.

Felix slowly looked at the feather.

Dotty stared.

Professor Noodle stared.

The giant creature stared.

Felix whispered:

“So…”

He pointed at the feather.

“…we’ve been trying to stop the sneezing…”

He looked at Captain Sneeze.

“…with the thing that makes the sneezing happen?”

Captain Sneeze nodded.

Felix stared.

Then he laughed.

Dotty looked confused.

“Why are you laughing?”

Felix pointed at everyone.

“Because we’re idiots!”

Everyone stared.

Felix laughed harder.

“We’ve spent the entire day chasing a feather!”

Dotty shouted:

“STOP LAUGHING!”

Felix couldn’t stop.

Then…

The giant creature sneezed.

ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The entire clock tower exploded.

Felix flew out of the window.

Dotty flew after him.

Captain Sneeze flew in another direction.

Professor Noodle flew upward.

The Golden Feather disappeared.

And the countdown reached:

00:05:00

Felix was falling through the sky.

He looked at Dotty.

“Do you have a plan?”

“No!”

“Good!”

“WHY IS THAT GOOD?”

“Because I don’t either!”

They continued falling.

Then Felix saw something.

A giant yellow nose.

Right beneath them.

Felix smiled.

“Wait.”

Dotty stared.

“What?”

Felix pointed.

“The nose.”

“What about it?”

Felix smiled.

“I have an idea.”

Dotty’s eyes widened.

“Felix…”

He grabbed her hand.

“Trust me.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

They fell toward the giant creature.

Five minutes remained.

The town was waiting.

The clock was ticking.

The creature was preparing to sneeze.

And Felix Fumble…

Was about to attempt the stupidest plan in the history of Giggleton.

TO BE CONTINUED…