The town of Giggleton had gone completely silent.

Not normal silent.

Not peaceful silent.

This was the kind of silence that made even Felix Fumble uncomfortable.

Felix stood at the top of the underground staircase.

Dotty stood beside him.

Captain Sneeze hovered behind them.

Professor Noodle was hiding under a table.

The mayor was hiding behind a chair.

Mr. Wobble was hiding behind the mayor.

And the giant shadow at the bottom of the stairs…

Was getting closer.

Felix swallowed.

“Everyone stay calm.”

Nobody answered.

Felix looked around.

“Did anyone hear me?”

Dotty nodded.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Felix took one step forward.

The shadow moved.

**THUMP.**

Felix took another step.

**THUMP.**

Another.

**THUMP.**

The entire clock tower shook.

Felix whispered:

“That’s a very large person.”

Dotty whispered back:

“Or creature.”

“Or monster.”

“Don’t say monster.”

“Why?”

“It might hear you.”

Felix immediately shouted:

“HELLO, MONSTER!”

Dotty slapped her forehead.

“FELIX!”

A deep voice echoed through the darkness.

“I AM NOT A MONSTER.”

Everyone froze.

Felix slowly looked at Dotty.

“See?”

Dotty stared.

“See what?”

“It heard me.”

“That wasn’t the point!”

—

The shadow finally stepped into the light.

Everyone gasped.

Felix stared.

Dotty stared.

Captain Sneeze stared.

Professor Noodle slowly came out from under the table.

The mayor peeked from behind the chair.

The creature was enormous.

It had four arms.

Two giant ears.

A round belly.

Three noses.

And…

A very small hat.

Felix blinked.

“You’re…”

The creature nodded.

“Yes.”

Felix stared.

“You’re…”

“Yes.”

“You’re…”

The creature became impatient.

“WHAT?”

Felix pointed.

“You’re wearing a tiny hat.”

The creature looked down.

It touched the hat.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

The creature looked offended.

“Because I like hats.”

Felix nodded.

“Fair enough.”

Dotty stepped forward.

“Who are you?”

The creature looked at her.

“I am…”

It paused dramatically.

Everyone waited.

The creature smiled.

“…Sir Snuffles.”

Silence.

Felix blinked.

“Sir Snuffles?”

The creature nodded proudly.

“Yes.”

Felix looked at Dotty.

“That’s a terrible name.”

Sir Snuffles gasped.

“It is an honorable name!”

“Sorry.”

“Apology accepted.”

Felix looked at him.

“Why were you sleeping under Giggleton?”

Sir Snuffles crossed all four arms.

“Because I was tired.”

Felix stared.

“For one hundred years?”

Sir Snuffles nodded.

“Yes.”

“That’s a very long nap.”

“It was comfortable.”

Dotty interrupted.

“Wait.”

Everyone looked at her.

She pointed at the creature.

“You’re the one who created the giant sneeze?”

Sir Snuffles shook his head.

“No.”

Felix relaxed.

“Good.”

Sir Snuffles continued:

“I created the first sneeze.”

Felix’s face fell.

“That’s not better.”

—

Sir Snuffles walked toward them.

The clock tower shook with every step.

Felix raised his magnifying glass.

“Why did you create the first sneeze?”

Sir Snuffles sighed.

“Because I was bored.”

Felix stared.

“Bored?”

“Yes.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes.”

“You nearly destroyed the entire town because you were bored?”

Sir Snuffles nodded.

“I was very bored.”

Dotty looked furious.

“You can’t just destroy a town because you’re bored!”

Sir Snuffles looked confused.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s wrong!”

“Oh.”

Sir Snuffles thought about it.

“That makes sense.”

Felix pointed.

“Then why did you do it?”

Sir Snuffles looked embarrassed.

“I wasn’t thinking.”

Felix nodded.

“That happens to me too.”

Dotty looked at him.

“Felix.”

“What?”

“Don’t encourage him.”

—

Sir Snuffles sat down.

The entire floor shook.

He looked sad.

“One hundred years ago, I lived beneath this town.”

Felix listened.

“I was lonely.”

Dotty’s expression softened.

“Lonely?”

Sir Snuffles nodded.

“No one knew I existed.”

“So you created the sneeze?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted people to notice me.”

Felix stared.

“So you made everyone sneeze?”

“Yes.”

“That was your plan?”

“Yes.”

Felix shook his head.

“That’s terrible.”

Sir Snuffles looked sad.

“I know.”

Felix thought.

“Why didn’t you just say hello?”

Sir Snuffles blinked.

“Hello?”

“Yes.”

“You mean I could have just said hello?”

Felix nodded.

“That’s usually how meeting people works.”

Sir Snuffles looked shocked.

“I spent one hundred years underground…”

He looked at Felix.

“…because I didn’t know how to say hello?”

Felix smiled.

“Basically.”

Sir Snuffles looked at Dotty.

“Is he always like this?”

Dotty nodded.

“Unfortunately.”

—

Suddenly…

A loud sound echoed through the clock tower.

**ACHOOOOOOOO!**

Everyone jumped.

Felix looked around.

“Who sneezed?”

Nobody answered.

Another sneeze.

**ACHOO!**

Felix pointed toward Sir Snuffles.

“Was it you?”

Sir Snuffles shook his head.

“No.”

Felix pointed toward Dotty.

“You?”

“No.”

“Captain Sneeze?”

“No.”

“Professor Noodle?”

Professor Noodle raised his hand.

“Maybe.”

Felix sighed.

Then…

A third sneeze.

**ACHOOOOOO!**

The entire town shook.

Felix looked upward.

The yellow cloud was back.

Dotty screamed:

“NOT AGAIN!”

Felix shouted:

“EVERYONE RUN!”

People began running.

The mayor ran left.

Mr. Wobble ran right.

Professor Noodle ran in circles.

Captain Sneeze flew upward.

Sir Snuffles stood.

Felix shouted:

“WAIT!”

Everyone stopped.

Felix stared at the cloud.

Something was different.

The cloud was smaller.

Much smaller.

Felix smiled.

“That’s not the Sneezium.”

Dotty looked confused.

“Then what is it?”

Felix pointed.

“Look.”

Inside the cloud…

A tiny yellow bird appeared.

Captain Sneeze.

Felix pointed.

“That’s him!”

Captain Sneeze froze.

“What?”

“You’re the cause!”

Captain Sneeze gasped.

“I am not!”

Felix ran toward him.

Captain Sneeze flew away.

“COME BACK!”

“NO!”

“STOP!”

“NEVER!”

Felix chased him around the clock tower.

Captain Sneeze flew through a window.

Felix jumped through after him.

Dotty shouted:

“FELIX!”

Felix landed on a roof.

Captain Sneeze flew away.

Felix shouted:

“I KNOW YOUR SECRET!”

Captain Sneeze stopped.

“What secret?”

Felix pointed.

“You’re not a bird.”

Captain Sneeze became silent.

Dotty arrived.

“Felix, we already knew that.”

Felix froze.

“Oh.”

Captain Sneeze sighed.

“Fine.”

He flew down.

“I’ll tell you everything.”

—

Captain Sneeze landed on Felix’s shoulder.

“My real name is…”

Everyone waited.

“Professor Featherbottom.”

Felix blinked.

“That’s your name?”

Captain Sneeze nodded.

“Yes.”

Felix thought.

“I liked Captain Sneeze better.”

“Thank you.”

Dotty asked:

“What are you?”

Professor Featherbottom smiled.

“I am a Sneezling.”

Felix frowned.

“A what?”

“A Sneezling.”

“What’s that?”

“A creature created by the Sneezium.”

Felix’s eyes widened.

“So you’re the reason the Sneezium exists?”

Professor Featherbottom nodded.

“Yes.”

“Then why did you create it?”

“I didn’t.”

“Who did?”

Professor Featherbottom pointed at Sir Snuffles.

Everyone looked at him.

Sir Snuffles raised his hand.

“Me.”

Felix stared.

“Again?”

Sir Snuffles shrugged.

“I was bored.”

Dotty sighed.

“Of course.”

—

Professor Featherbottom explained everything.

One hundred years ago, Sir Snuffles had been lonely.

He created the Sneezium.

The Sneezium created Professor Featherbottom.

Professor Featherbottom flew around the town.

Every time he sneezed…

The town sneezed.

The clock tower collected the sneezes.

The Sneezium Generator multiplied them.

And after one hundred years…

The machine became overloaded.

Felix nodded.

“So the entire mystery…”

He pointed at Sir Snuffles.

“…was because you were lonely?”

Sir Snuffles nodded.

“Yes.”

Felix looked at Dotty.

Dotty nodded.

Felix sighed.

“That’s actually kind of sad.”

Sir Snuffles looked hopeful.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not angry?”

Felix thought.

“I was.”

“Then?”

“Then I realized something.”

“What?”

Felix smiled.

“You’re not evil.”

Sir Snuffles looked surprised.

“Really?”

“You’re just extremely stupid.”

Sir Snuffles smiled.

“Thank you.”

Dotty stared.

“That’s not a compliment.”

“It is to me.”

—

Suddenly…

The ground began shaking.

Felix looked around.

“What now?”

Professor Noodle screamed:

“THE MACHINE!”

Everyone froze.

“What?”

Professor Noodle pointed toward the underground facility.

“The Sneezium Generator is still active!”

Felix’s eyes widened.

“Can we turn it off?”

Professor Noodle shook his head.

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because we already released all the sneezes.”

“Then what’s left?”

Professor Noodle looked terrified.

“The final sneeze.”

Felix stared.

“Final?”

Professor Noodle nodded.

“All the sneezes that were released have combined.”

“Into what?”

Professor Noodle pointed upward.

The entire yellow cloud had gathered into one enormous ball.

Felix stared.

“That’s…”

Dotty nodded.

“Very big.”

Felix swallowed.

“How big?”

Professor Noodle whispered:

“Planet-sized.”

Everyone screamed.

The cloud began spinning.

Sir Snuffles looked terrified.

Professor Featherbottom flew away.

The mayor ran.

Mr. Wobble ran after him.

Felix grabbed Dotty.

“WE HAVE TO STOP IT!”

Dotty shouted:

“HOW?”

Felix looked around.

He saw the Golden Feather.

Then he saw Sir Snuffles.

Then Professor Featherbottom.

Then the clock tower.

Suddenly…

Felix smiled.

Dotty stared.

“No.”

“What?”

“I know that smile.”

“It’s my detective smile.”

“It’s your stupid smile.”

“Same thing.”

Felix pointed.

“The problem is the sneeze.”

“Yes.”

“The sneeze is caused by the Sneezium.”

“Yes.”

“The Sneezium is controlled by the clock.”

“Yes.”

“And the clock is controlled by the feather.”

Dotty stared.

“Yes.”

Felix smiled.

“Then we don’t destroy the feather.”

Dotty’s eyes widened.

“We don’t?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

Felix pointed toward Sir Snuffles.

“We give it to him.”

Everyone stared.

Sir Snuffles looked confused.

“Why?”

Felix explained:

“Because you’re the creator of the Sneezium.”

Sir Snuffles nodded.

“Yes.”

“So you’re the only one who can control it.”

Sir Snuffles looked nervous.

“Maybe.”

Felix grabbed the Golden Feather.

He gave it to Sir Snuffles.

The moment Sir Snuffles touched it…

Everything stopped.

The yellow cloud froze.

The clock stopped.

The Sneezium machine stopped.

Even the wind stopped.

Silence.

Sir Snuffles looked at the feather.

The feather began glowing.

Felix whispered:

“Now what?”

Sir Snuffles smiled.

“I remember.”

“Remember what?”

“How to stop it.”

Sir Snuffles raised the feather.

The entire town began glowing.

A powerful wind appeared.

The giant yellow cloud began shrinking.

Slowly.

Slowly.

Smaller.

Smaller.

Until…

It disappeared.

The sky became blue.

The clock tower stopped shaking.

The Sneezium Generator shut down.

Everyone stared.

Felix blinked.

“That’s it?”

Sir Snuffles nodded.

“That’s it.”

Felix smiled.

“We did it!”

Everyone cheered.

The mayor hugged Mr. Wobble.

Mr. Wobble hugged the mayor.

Professor Noodle hugged a tree.

Captain Sneeze hugged Felix.

Dotty hugged Felix too.

Felix smiled.

“Finally.”

Then…

**ACHOO!**

Everyone froze.

Felix slowly opened his eyes.

Dotty stared.

Felix stared at Dotty.

Dotty stared at Felix.

Another sneeze.

**ACHOO!**

The mayor screamed:

“NO!”

Felix looked at Sir Snuffles.

“Did you fix it?”

Sir Snuffles nodded.

“Yes.”

“Then why are we still sneezing?”

Sir Snuffles looked confused.

He thought.

Then he smiled.

“Oh.”

Felix stared.

“Oh what?”

Sir Snuffles pointed toward the sky.

“That’s not the Sneezium.”

Felix looked upward.

A flock of ordinary birds flew across the sky.

One bird sneezed.

**ACHOO!**

Felix stared.

“That’s it?”

Sir Snuffles nodded.

“Yes.”

Felix put his hands on his head.

“We nearly destroyed the planet because of a bird with allergies?”

Captain Sneeze raised his wing.

“Technically, I’m a Sneezling.”

Felix looked at him.

“Nobody cares.”

—

Three days later…

Giggleton had completely recovered.

The clock tower was repaired.

The underground Sneezium Generator was turned into a museum.

The museum was called:

**THE MUSEUM OF VERY BAD IDEAS.**

Its first exhibit was the Sneezium Generator.

The second exhibit was Professor Noodle.

He had accidentally been placed inside a glass box.

Nobody knew why.

The third exhibit was a photograph of Felix Fumble.

Underneath it was written:

**THE DETECTIVE WHO ALMOST DESTROYED THE PLANET.**

Felix hated the exhibit.

Dotty loved it.

The mayor declared Felix an official hero.

Felix received a golden medal.

Unfortunately…

The medal was shaped like a nose.

Felix stared at it.

“Why?”

The mayor smiled.

“Because you saved us from sneezing.”

Felix nodded.

“Fair.”

Sir Snuffles moved into a small house outside town.

For the first time in one hundred years…

He had friends.

Every Sunday, the people of Giggleton visited him.

He was still very large.

He was still very strange.

And he still wore his tiny hat.

But he was no longer lonely.

Professor Featherbottom became the town’s official messenger.

He was terrible at the job.

He often delivered letters to the wrong houses.

Once, he delivered a birthday invitation to a cow.

The cow attended.

Nobody complained.

Professor Noodle opened a new laboratory.

His new invention was called:

**THE NO-SNEEZE MACHINE.**

It lasted three seconds.

Then exploded.

Nobody was surprised.

The mayor banned Professor Noodle from inventing anything for one week.

He invented something anyway.

It was a machine that made potatoes dance.

It became the town’s biggest attraction.

—

As for Felix and Dotty…

Their detective agency became famous.

Their new sign read:

**FELIX FUMBLE & DOTT Y DOODLE**
**PRIVATE DETECTIVES**
**WE SOLVE MYSTERIES**
**SOMETIMES BY ACCIDENT**

Felix sat behind his desk.

Dotty was reading a book.

Felix was sleeping.

Suddenly…

**BANG!**

The door opened.

A man ran inside.

“HELP!”

Felix jumped up.

“A mystery!”

Dotty closed her book.

“What happened?”

The man looked terrified.

“My house is haunted!”

Felix grabbed his detective hat.

“Excellent!”

Dotty stared.

“Why are you excited?”

“Because we finally have a normal case.”

The man nodded.

“Yes.”

Felix opened the door.

“Let’s go.”

Dotty followed.

They walked outside.

The sky was blue.

The town was peaceful.

Everything was normal.

Then…

A loud sound came from the clock tower.

**ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

Felix stopped.

Dotty stopped.

The man stopped.

Felix slowly looked upward.

A tiny yellow cloud appeared above the town.

Dotty stared.

“Felix.”

“Yes?”

“Please tell me that’s not what I think it is.”

Felix looked at the cloud.

He sighed.

“I don’t think it’s the Sneezium.”

Dotty relaxed.

“Good.”

Felix pointed.

“It looks more like…”

Dotty waited.

“…a giant fart cloud.”

Silence.

Dotty stared at him.

The man stared.

Felix smiled.

“What?”

Dotty turned around.

“I’m going home.”

Felix followed her.

“Wait!”

The man shouted:

“What about my haunted house?”

Felix stopped.

He turned around.

“Right!”

He ran back.

“Come on!”

The man followed.

Dotty sighed.

“Why do I work with him?”

From above…

Sir Snuffles laughed.

Professor Featherbottom sneezed.

Professor Noodle’s potato machine exploded.

The mayor lost his hat.

And somewhere in Giggleton…

A cow received another birthday invitation.

The cow smiled.

Because in Giggleton…

Nothing was ever normal.

And that was exactly what made it perfect.

Felix Fumble looked at Dotty.

“Ready for another mystery?”

Dotty smiled.

“Always.”

Felix raised his magnifying glass.

“Then let’s go.”

They walked toward the haunted house.

Behind them…

The town clock struck twelve.

But this time…

Nobody sneezed.

**THE END**